buttacup_baybeh

Some writing shit

2006-10-05T02:46:29Z

my feelings tword a guy i just cant seem for get out of my head

ive given him my all-
in my eyes,
maybe im blind,
i dont think i am- cause i can truely see clearly
that-
this isnt right,
what was once a feeling
i never wanted to let go and now i want it to go beyond unexistence
yet i turn my back
but my head and heart stay.

the phone rings
and as much as i want to forget i run to recieve the reciever
and my ears are waiting to hear
the voice which once gave me goose bumps
but now
just tears
im let down
ive developed a hate which i hate
because to hate you must love and thats what i want but i cant have
so i dont want it so much as i do -
but i do want it
i want him to let go
so it will be easier for me to move on
but to imagine living without him breathing
without him kills me
i dont know how but hes hurt me
to the point where i no longer hurt-
just cry
and when i cry i feel
pathetic
because when every tear breaks it just proves
ive done this before and

LOTS OF PICTURES

2006-01-08T04:09:52Z

At my cousin's house waiting for mi madre

teehee

Peek-a-boo

ME and KRYSTINE a.k.a. my cousin

Chicken Quesadilla?

She's no fun

My head is too small for my body

Shes starting to see how much fun I'm having

I got the gangsta out of hurr

You can call me the double chinned turtle and her ...well shes happy!

i'm so effin confused

2005-11-11T06:41:16Z

ok, so guy 1 i like, but guy 2 i really like, and im said, cause i just want guy 2

Scene 13- Monty Python and the Holy Grail

2005-10-25T22:43:50Z

goodgreenmonkey: aww iss would you like a shrubberie?
KnightxOfxNIx1: a nice one?
goodgreenmonkey: one a little higher than the other
KnightxOfxNIx1: and not too expensive?
goodgreenmonkey: and with a path down the middle
KnightxOfxNIx1: yes thatd be nice
KnightxOfxNIx1: NOW GO!
goodgreenmonkey: see
goodgreenmonkey: feelin better already!
KnightxOfxNIx1: :-)
goodgreenmonkey: man i wish someone were here
KnightxOfxNIx1: are we nerds for liking this ?
goodgreenmonkey: id bug the shit outta them till they drive me over there
goodgreenmonkey: we are nerds period. <--notice the period
goodgreenmonkey: shit
goodgreenmonkey: maximize the box haha
goodgreenmonkey: but i could care less if we are:-)
KnightxOfxNIx1: :-)
KnightxOfxNIx1: WE are the knights who say ni!

!N!OOOO not the knight who say ni!
KnightxOfxNIx1: THE SAME!
KnightxOfxNIx1: who are the???
KnightxOfxNIx1: we are the keepers of the sacred words
KnightxOfxNIx1: ni!, pang!, aand ni-wom!
KnightxOfxNIx1: random voice...ni wom!
goodgreenmonkey: those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale
KnightxOfxNIx1: the knights who say ni demand a sacrafice!
goodgreenmonkey: knights of ni we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods
KnightxOfxNIx1: nininini!
KnightxOfxNIx1: oh ow
KnightxOfxNIx1: !
goodgreenmonkey: ow ow ahh!
KnightxOfxNIx1: hahahahah
KnightxOfxNIx1: we shall say nee again if you do not appease us
goodgreenmonkey: well what is it you want?
KnightxOfxNIx1: we want.....
KnightxOfxNIx1: *your turn
goodgreenmonkey: A SHRUBBERY!
KnightxOfxNIx1: DUN DUN DUUUUUH!
KnightxOfxNIx1: IA WHAT!??!?!?!
goodgreenmonkey: NI
KnightxOfxNIx1: NI!NI!NI!
goodgreenmonkey: NI!
goodgreenmonkey: NINI!
KnightxOfxNIx1: OH OW!
goodgreenmonkey: please please no more we will find you a shrubbery
KnightxOfxNIx1: you must return with a shrubbery or you shall never pass through these woods alive!
goodgreenmonkey: knights of ni you are just and fair and we will return with a shrubbery
KnightxOfxNIx1: o knights of ni you are just anf fair and we will return with a shrubbery
KnightxOfxNIx1: hehehhehe
KnightxOfxNIx1: one that looks nice?
goodgreenmonkey: of course
KnightxOfxNIx1: and not too expensive?
goodgreenmonkey: yes
KnightxOfxNIx1: NOW...GO!
KnightxOfxNIx1: wow
KnightxOfxNIx1: we rock
goodgreenmonkey: you know it!
KnightxOfxNIx1: i mean
KnightxOfxNIx1: we just covered a scene

i think yes

buttacup_baybeh @ 2005-10-24T18:45:00

2005-10-25T01:48:30Z

yaaaaaay, homecoming on saturday, i get to dress purdy, ill have pics by monday

buttacup_baybeh @ 2005-09-21T11:06:00

2005-09-21T18:06:48Z

reterytry

part two of: the tasha story

2005-09-21T18:03:03Z

So, monday comes and i'm pissed. so, what do i do? i go looking for tasha because i want to know WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!! so, i go to taco bell cause i guess everyone "chills" there now, and if everyone is doing it-tashas doin' it. so i go in taco bell and ask people if they've seen her. they said know but they think shes annoying and would love to see me fight her, so i'm like ...i'm NOT gunna fight her unless shit gets f*cked up. so, let me tell you i had pairs of eyes everywhere looking for her , and if they saw her they were going to call me. so, i get a call from someone telling me she's at the taco shop. so, i'm walking to the taco shop with kenny, and my anger has by now sky rocketted.<---not a word. so i get to the taco shop and theres hardly anyone in there so im like, cool for her sake. so i start talking to her- i'm f*cking pissed out of my mind by now. and i was like...................so.....you're gunna kick my ass?...she says...no i never said that*she's NOT looking at me*(oh yeah by this point everyone and their brother was in there) and i said........thats not what i heard from alot of people, i also heard you told people you were going to kick my ass at the walls but kenny was there so you didnt......she says.....no........i said...........tash i asked you what the f*ck was going on and shit like that,then i recall, you picking up you cell phone and calling your dad to come get you, then you picked up your gay ass backpack and power walked away from us, and i told you to come back and talk shit to my face and you never looked back......you ran away like a pussy, now youre telling people youre gunna kick my ass? well here i am.......she said.........no i never said anything you heard.....(* ok people let me tell you now, tasha used to be my neighbor, i know for a FACT she shit talks and is a bitch*) so right infront of me shes denying ever saying anything when at the walls she admitted to it. so she kinda nudges me away so i tell her im gunna sock her and she better never say shit again, she says no, i deck her in the face. now the people she was sitting with are supposedly her "friends" well if they were infact her friends...dont you think they would have done something? oh yeah and after knocking her ass out all her "friends" were like wooooooooo laren!!! then they told me MORE of the shit she says in spanish. well, if i didnt have a heart id go back in there and do it again....

so, now people are telling me that she has Glam girl ashley ready to kill me, well, let me ask glam girl, if your sister only did as much as smoke pot and do crystal once, and drink which i know you do, if your sister was now at rehab trying to better herself and its killing her and her family to be away, shes gunna be gone for a year and i dont get to see her till next year, you mean to tell me that if you were in this situation and someone was going around telling people that your sister YOUR SISTER was a coke head and so were you and a crack addict and a slut.... you wouldnt FUCKIN' deck her?....well you know what, if you wouldn't it shows alot glam girl, from what i hear your an awesome person, but if you were in that situation, you wouldnt stop it, some awesome girl you are? now if your gunna kick my ASS , ill be waiting.....

buttacup_baybeh @ 2005-09-05T22:25:00

2005-09-06T05:53:36Z

Dear Connie,

I just got your message. It killed me. I know something is the matter, I could hear it in your voice. I feel so bad for being out today and not being home to take that call. You know I think about you everyday. About everytime I start doing something new, I wonder what you're doing.

How's life there? Are they treating you well? Is it too hard? I need to know. I miss you so much. You know, I think of all the times I've said "I hate you." I'm sorry. You've said it too, but I bet we can agree, we were both mad and didn't know what we were saying. I think of all the times we fight, and how we said we were going to kill eachother, how much we supposedly dispised eachother. But there's something I also think of...when all that is running through my mind, this thought lingers and kills all the bad thoughts.

When you slept in my room and you farted really loud and you kept farting, then I would try and show you up. I can't get your laugh out of my head. I can hear it now, but then I look around and your not here. I think of when you would be crying and I would come in and hug you. I'd tell you everything is alright, I think of when you came to hug me.

Remember when we would sing Mr. Roboto while getting ready for school? How we'd try and do the robot? We sucked. We'd get in the car to take me to school then we would start singing My Chemical Romance till we got to my school? Remember when we'd sing "oh happy day" together? We would harmonize. You have a beautiful voice.

I think the one thing that's sticking in my mind right now is when we were in Dad's car singing Barbra Manitee. Our little voices against his.

Connie I love you and I miss you more then you think. My sister is gone? I'm crushed, lonely, I need you.

I don't know if we can go to Family Tea on tuesday cause it hasn't been two weeks, but I hope so.

I love you so much, tomorrow is the first day and school and I'll sing and dance to Mr.Roboto just for you. I love you. I can't wait to see you.

~Wen Wen

Oh happy day (oh happy day)
Oh happy day (oh happy day)
When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
Washed my sins away (oh happy day)
Oh happy day (oh happy day)

(La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la)
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
(La, la, la, la, la)
La, la, la, la, la
(La, la, la, la, la, la, la)
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
(La, la, la, la, la)
La, la, la, la, la

Oh happy day (oh happy day)
Oh happy day (oh happy day)
When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
When my Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
He washed my sins away

(La, la, la, la, la, la, la)
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
(La, la, la, la, la)
La, la, la, la, la

He taught me how (oh, He taught me how)
To wash (to wash, to wash)
Fight and pray (to fight and pray)
Fight and pray
And he taught me how to live rejoicing
yes, He did (and live rejoicing)
Oh yeah, every, every day (every, every day)
(oh yeah) Every day!

Oh happy day (oh happy day)
Oh happy day, yeah (oh happy day)
When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
When my Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
When Jesus washed [hits high note] (when Jesus washed)
My sins away (oh happy day)
I'm talking about that happy day (oh happy day)

He taught me how (oh yeah, how)
To wash (to wash)
Fight and pray (sing it, sing it, c'mon and sing it)
Fight and pray
And to live
yeah, yeah, c'mon everybody (and live rejoicing every, every day)
Sing it like you mean it, oh....

Oh happy day (oh happy day)
I'm talking about the happy days (oh happy day)
C'mon and talk about the happy days (oh happy day)
Oh, oh, oh happy days (oh happy day)
Ooh talking about happy day (oh happy day)
Oh yeah, I know I'm talking about happy days (oh happy day)
Oh yeah, sing it, sing it, sing it, yeah, yeah (oh happy day)
Oh, oh, oh
Oh happy day.....

Bajillion pics

2005-09-01T19:21:41Z

Connies beautiful even with a weird face

Our faces are in there, can you see?

Dinasuar?

My Super hero

Making clopping noises like horses with my coconuts (monty python)

Our last picture all together

Reverse? Elliot is facinated by the fish and Nick is strolling...

Fruit anyone?

Deadly chicken anyone?

Your Queen?

Two Davids, One Goliath

Then i only have one pic from the day after

Courtney and Murr

-Kenny's house-

Chookies and I make a great couple.......

Kenny wants to be a model

We have magnets in our lips.....my ear looks weird...

Iggins!!!

Melisa being the little cook she is

Looking at the doughy cookies trying to figure-out what else would make them fun

Thomas is just plain weird

Kenny secretly is gunna hit me with that stick

.......That one kid......

Garrett? Garett? I'm no genius.... I don't know he's doin' something to the cookies

Writing on Brittney? Britany? I hate names....Writing on her back!

I hit Kenny with the stick and thats the welt I left

Kenny thinks he's hot shit

Kenny looks evil...hey....what's that thing next to the stairs?

He wishes

Bubble Monster

Mr. & Mrs. Bubble Monster

He loves her so

Self explanitory

Melisa has a ghetto booty

Models............Iggins too

He likes to rape our animals

and eat them......

and then feel sorry after biting their ear off

Iggins....

He's cool

buttacup_baybeh @ 2005-08-28T06:06:00

2005-08-28T13:11:01Z

Okie, Mary and I can't sleep aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm really hungry and we want to go to the Huddle to eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat. They have yummy breakfast. Oh yes...I forgot. I peed in a sink yesturday. bahahaha. It was odd. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm going to go eat then come back to Mary's house and get dressed and then we're goin to the mall (Fashin Valley) so go shoppin Maybe see a movie. but ya call us if you would like to join My number is 405-2520.

I''ll chat later

Is the shit really bananas?

2005-08-27T05:10:54Z

So, this morning at eight thirty we drove Connie to Descanso. It took us an hour and thirty minutes to get there. It was pretty up there, but fuckin' hot. She liked it-that's all that matters to me. We were there for about three hours...sooo long. They filled out massive piles of paper work and signed abijillion things. I didn't cry until the end. I didn't know if I was or wasn't because I wanted to be strong I guess. Once I was giving Connie a hug and she started to burst into tears, I was no longer Wonder Woman. I didn't really get into crying until we left and I got farther and farther away from her.

I wonder what she's doing.

I miss her.

I love Connie

so happy leaves, and sorrow comes?

2005-08-26T06:35:37Z

I'm hot, I need to take a shower.

Today was Terra's (my oldest sisters) birthday, she turned 26 and looks younger then me, I hate it! Haha.

Today was the last day I got to hang out with Connie for a long time... that is if she makes it a long time. Tomorrow morning at Eight Thirty A.M. my mom, aunt, sisters, and I will drive Connie to Descanso. Connie has gone away before, but it was always just for a month or so, now she's going away for a year supposedly.

I don't know what to ssssaaaayyyy~~~~~~~~....

I'm not really like...anything right now, nothing is phasing me. I'm not trying to me "emo" but it's true. I'm trying to be strong about tomorrow, so I cane be there for those crying... so, I don't think I'm going to cry, or maybe it hasnt hit me. I'm not a heartless bitch, DO NOT! think that, I just feel that instead of my mom being there for me, I should be there for her.

I smell, I need to take a shower. I'm too tired to stand and wash. So, I just want to go to bed, but I can't because i can feel the smelly stinky poop on me. So, I guess I have no choice but to take a shower and clean me filthy ass. HaHe. No, I'm clean really. I'm just smelly stinky poop.

Am I smelly: stinky poop? Or, Stinky smelly poop?

Here's some lyrics for ya....sad, but deep:

i can't remember when it was good
moments of happiness elude
maybe i just misunderstood

all of the love we left behind
watching the flash backs intertwine
memories i will never find

so i'll love whatever you become
and forget the reckless things we've done
i think our lives have just begun
i think our lives have just begun

and i feel my world crumbling
i feel my world crumbling
i feel my soul crumbling away
and falling away
falling away with you

staying awake to chase a dream
tasting the air you're breathing in
i know i won't forget a thing

promise to hold you close and pray
watching the fantasies decay
nothing will ever stay the same

all of the love we threw away
all of the hopes we cherished fade
making the same mistakes again
making the same mistakes again

i can feel my world crumbling
i can feel my life crumbling
i can feel my soul crumbling away
and falling away
falling away with you

all of the love we've left behind
watching the flash backs intertwine
memories i will never find
memories i will never find

WhYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

2005-07-30T22:01:58Z

God, I was gunna be kidnapped this morning, but my mom wouldn't let me. My kid nappies were gunna take me to the beach..........:(

buttacup_baybeh @ 2005-07-28T14:06:00

2005-07-28T21:47:21Z

First off, I'd like you all to meet Dusty.

Yes, Mary and I are super heros...

On our superhero transpertation

So after saving the world we though a little partyin would be nice....

Harmonizin'

And now day with kenny

Thats it for now

~Wen Wen~

ok so, just talk to my mom

2005-07-27T23:46:50Z

I just went on a ride with my mom to take Connie Backstabber to work, so she can go smoke behind my mom's back. We talked, and I let her know everything I was feeling. I'm glad to say, my mom still has all her love for me and 1/2 the trust. I asked her why it's such a big deal to parents. She started crying and telling me I'm still a little girl and I'm only 14, no, now I'm not a little girl. It killed me. She said that her baby is no longer a baby and it's hard to handle. She's unhappy for my decision, but I told her I wasn't, and she told me that she was happy for me. I take that as sarcasim. But she feels it's her fault as every mother would, but I assured her it wasn't. She told me the only thing that was running through her mind was when Elliot told her "kenny uses them for one thing." So, now she thinks Kenny used me, I told her he would never do that, and she said, well he achieved his goal. Put a knife in my heart and turn it full circle. I love Kenny, and I don't know what the hell to do, not that I'm going to leave him, but will his closness fade?

Sister's a Backstabber? Yes.

2005-07-27T20:26:55Z

OK, so last night everyone got on my ass and I didn't know why tell my oldest sister came in and told me why. You wanna know? Too, bad, I'm not like Connie, fishing for attention and sympathy. But now i'm grounded for two weeks and I can't see kenny till forever. Soooooo Connie thinks I screwed up her life by letting my mom know about pot? Yeah, I know, fucked up, but you guys didn't have to go through what I went through. I don't need it again. Neither does my mom or sister. Connie is supposedly grounded forever.....but she can go wherever and have whoever over....I'm grounded for two week and and can't go anywhere or have anyone over...fair? I think not. Talk about not fair? Could you ever compare pot to lost virginity? Be honest, could you? Pot- Mom being dissapointed, not letting you see friends for a while and trying to get you help- Sex-Mom being dissapointed in you, not talking to you, asking you why? how long? He can't come over anymore, you can't go over there unless I talk to his mom. not more shows, no more partys. no hanging out, no more sitting alone watching T.V. Preg. Tests, Loosing trust and a little love, haveing your mom think "I thought she was better then that, I knew for sure she would never do something like that!"...it goes on... Now,tell me. Can you compare pot to something like that? Especially me being a girl? If I was a guy it would be a different story "Did you use pretection, do her parents know? yatta yatta, be safe" a girl......you not only lost something, so did your parents, they lost their little girl. They lost their "innocent" little lump of joy. Now, they have another young women. Just when they thought they still had one they thought they could trust, I ruin their hopes. I'll tell you now, I'm not ashamed for what I did. I love him more than you could possibly imagine. Everyone's love for one another is unique. Why does love have to be labled with a number?